The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
