He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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