I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
She's the barista slut.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
