Only a mothe r could love this liver
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
