Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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