our cab driver is having phone sex.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
