he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
