Banned from zoo.
Again?
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
