Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
