So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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