Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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