I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
