Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
