I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
