Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
