last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
