I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize