You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
