i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
