I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
