I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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