So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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