My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
