Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
be right there i have to get my cape
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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