its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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