so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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