i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
