Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
