This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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