Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
