The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
that is very illegal...i love you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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