I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
