Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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