How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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