no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
