I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I puked a lego.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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