he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We left the knife in your bed.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
