apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
You smell like stripper and shame
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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