You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
