I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The best revenge is premature balding
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
