I'm going to rape someone's good day.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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