dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
