How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
