I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
