We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
