If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
