The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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