I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
