i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
