just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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