Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
