I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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