dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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