Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
