He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
