epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
